Tuesday, March 30, 2010

Somethings We'll Never Understand

I was in class today and my professor was telling a story about men and women (a brave task for a male teacher in a class of 40+ females and 6 males). He was saying that when a female returns home from a confrontation at the work place they will often share with their male partner about what happened. In reply to the story the male will often try to give solutions to the problem, but what he warned was that often times the female partner isn’t really looking for “solutions” but someone to understand why they are upset and justify their position. Often times another argument will occur after the mix up.

It’s a classic men are from Mars and women are from Venus story. At one point or another in our lives we all come to the conclusion that there are just some things we may never understand about the opposite sex. Today I want to try and shine some light on a subject that has women asking the question "Why is this so important to men?"

I saw this on Facebook today:

“John Smith is: My girl is making fun of me cuz I'm excited after winning my matchup in the Fantasy Hockey playoffs. She'll never understand. I told her it was important to me and she almost pissed her pants.”

Fantasy Hockey has become a hobby of mine for the past few years and is quickly growing in popularity among males with each new season. For those of you who aren’t familiar with fantasy hockey allow me to fill you in.

1. In October you sign up for an online league. In my case I joined a league with friends from my undergrad. Your league chooses a day to carry out an “online draft” where all the people in the log meet online to choose players for their teams.

2. Once your team is selected you take on the role of General Manager. You can choose to add/drop players, trade with other managers, choose which players to play on certain nights, and the best part is smack talking all the other people in the league via an online posting board.

3. This goes on for the next 7 months during which you are frantically trying to stay on top of who is having a good season who is having a bad season. Where you can shift players around in your roster and if you should move your best producer for someone you think can bring a new dimension to your team.

4. You’ll often see a group of men huddled together talking about players they are keeping an eye on, who they stole in the 9th round of the draft, why they chose certain goalies, who they like on the waiver wire, why next year’s league should be a keeper season, etc.

If your still following you will understand why John Smith was so excited to have won his playoff match up. A fantasy hockey season is a long commitment and a lot of effort goes into a successful season. Participants get to live vicariously through their players as they rise and fall throughout the season. Nothing feels better than beating someone else in a hard fought round of hockey.

I said earlier that at times women just want a man to acknowledge their reasons for being upset and show some understanding. What I offer to you today is: instead of trying to understand what it is about fantasy hockey that is so fun just understand that it is something important to him. Acknowledge that he is doing a good job and that you are proud. You’ll find that this will make him really happy and you can do this regardless of whether or not you actually understand fantasy hockey.

Sometimes to bridge the gap between sexes we just need to accept the differences. Even if we don’t completely understand them.


Anonymous said...

Hey Sean

Another great post. Yes we are different there is no doubt about it. I think we can follow these differences back to the day we crawled out of the mud. As for the fantasy hockey league, I get it. It is no different than anyother committment to the variety of sports men follow. It is our last opportunity in a "civilized" society to work and belong to a tribe of people fighting to survive. Today we fight to stay alive to make it to the next round of the playoffs (or if your a Leaf make it into the playoffs), or to touch that golden, coveted trophy. In the early days of sport fighting to stay alive literally meant to stay alive as thier was no trophy just honour and a sense of belonging to a team that had your back.
Yes the majority of men and women are very different but there is some common ground. Despite our differences we still want to belong to a group and know that no matter what we believe or how we express our needs to belong we will be accepted and supported.


Anonymous said...

Hey Sean,

Here's a quote that I think relates to your post.

"True love comes when we cease seeing ourselves reflected in the other but see the other as different from ourselves in a way that we respect. This is to transcend individualism in a different sense. Indeed, it is to dissolve it into relation."
~Michchael Ignatieff


Anas Ahmed said...

Great post, Sean. You couldn't of explained it better. I almost want you to win our matchup after reading this post haha...maybe not. The insight you used to provide in our classes has been shifted to this blog. I'm gonna link it to my girl as recommended reading lol. Keep it up and I hope to see you and the rest of the fellas in the near future.


Riccardo Lo Monaco said...

well done. well.... done.

The Don said...

Dude, well put. Every female should read and understand this. First up, my gal. Hope all is well brother

bb said...

you have no idea how many times i have offered a solution to her 'problems'. this changes everything.

bb said...

you have no idea how many times i have offered a solution to her 'problems'. this changes everything.